Well, duh. Since I'm not getting enough time with Darkside, and something about my friendship with him is very essential to me, of course I'm feeling awful.
You want to see someone who's acting like she just lost her best friend? Look no further.
I'm used to spending a good 8+ hours a week with a man who can make me giggle when I'm in the darkest of depressions, and haul my worldview around and dump me on my ass and make me
think with only a few words. I can cry in front of him. He has seen me as I am just fallen out of bed in the morning; he has seen me hyper as hell; he has seen me too tired at night to even sit up straight. I'm used to calling him every few days and spending time wisecracking over the phone, as if the time we spend together at school weren't enough. When we talk on the phone, a short call is 20 minutes. One evening, we were both surprised to notice that it was almost 11 pm, and he'd called around sunset.
I spent two hours with my best friend over a month ago.
I talk with him on the phone maybe ten to twenty minutes at a time if he's got time to talk, on the days that I can call.
I have other friends. I have other, very good, friends. I have
votania,
ralmathon,
yaksha42,
marxdarx, and all
you guys. But none of you are Darkside.