Jan. 14th, 2004
Happy New Year.
Jan. 14th, 2004 01:49 amA day late, but yeah. Though I already announced it yesterday.
But anyway.
In this new year, I'm horribly glad that I was rescued, or was moved to rescue myself, from the most vile of confinements. I am glad that I did not bend myself to fit the pleasure of another that was not my pleasure as well.
I trust in Darkside, see, because whatever his other faults, he does not wish that I be other than myself. He wishes that I be myself, the best, strongest, most ass-kicking lovely self that I can be, and he wants to kick my ass when I'm not, only gently.
Contrast that with a man who found me not conservative enough, too headstrong, not circumspect enough, rude and loud and cruel and obnoxious. He magnified my flaws.
Darkside magnifies my strengths, as I hope I magnify his. I see him as strong, wise, capable, funny, tender, loyal...
We may ever be a platonic pair, us, but we belong together.
But anyway.
In this new year, I'm horribly glad that I was rescued, or was moved to rescue myself, from the most vile of confinements. I am glad that I did not bend myself to fit the pleasure of another that was not my pleasure as well.
I trust in Darkside, see, because whatever his other faults, he does not wish that I be other than myself. He wishes that I be myself, the best, strongest, most ass-kicking lovely self that I can be, and he wants to kick my ass when I'm not, only gently.
Contrast that with a man who found me not conservative enough, too headstrong, not circumspect enough, rude and loud and cruel and obnoxious. He magnified my flaws.
Darkside magnifies my strengths, as I hope I magnify his. I see him as strong, wise, capable, funny, tender, loyal...
We may ever be a platonic pair, us, but we belong together.
Other co-parent (male) described how Little Fayoumis read with him.
Evidently it typically takes an hour, and he stresses over words and wanders through the book and generally makes a big hairy deal over it.
My response: "If I didn't know better, I'd think we were talking about two different kids."
In my world, Little Fayoumis is bright and happy and doesn't make a fuss about bedtime and is getting damn fast at reading, and is generally a pretty well-adjusted kid except for some stress over homework and schoolwork.
I pointed out that often, from my perspective, it sounded as if LF were answering questions not with the actual answer that he felt, but with the answer that would please him.
Evidently he's "talked to him about that".
I shudder to think of that conversation.
Thought, but not said: "Until you stop the fuck asking questions where there is only one acceptable answer, and that is the one you want, he is going to keep doing it because you make him feel like shit when he gives the wrong answer, you bloody fuckwad!"
Yes, I do my share of telling LF what to do too, but ... I try to explain the rules of society, not emotionally whack him around until he figures out by guess and fail what they are!
School's a big, big stress. He's been saying stuff like "I'm worthless" over getting stuff wrong on things, and I don't know what to do about it. I've been trying to reinforce that no he is not, everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK, and to keep working... some of it's taking, some of it's not.
*stress*
Evidently it typically takes an hour, and he stresses over words and wanders through the book and generally makes a big hairy deal over it.
My response: "If I didn't know better, I'd think we were talking about two different kids."
In my world, Little Fayoumis is bright and happy and doesn't make a fuss about bedtime and is getting damn fast at reading, and is generally a pretty well-adjusted kid except for some stress over homework and schoolwork.
I pointed out that often, from my perspective, it sounded as if LF were answering questions not with the actual answer that he felt, but with the answer that would please him.
Evidently he's "talked to him about that".
I shudder to think of that conversation.
Thought, but not said: "Until you stop the fuck asking questions where there is only one acceptable answer, and that is the one you want, he is going to keep doing it because you make him feel like shit when he gives the wrong answer, you bloody fuckwad!"
Yes, I do my share of telling LF what to do too, but ... I try to explain the rules of society, not emotionally whack him around until he figures out by guess and fail what they are!
School's a big, big stress. He's been saying stuff like "I'm worthless" over getting stuff wrong on things, and I don't know what to do about it. I've been trying to reinforce that no he is not, everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK, and to keep working... some of it's taking, some of it's not.
*stress*
Assorted Scraping
Jan. 14th, 2004 08:21 amThe painting project is accompanied by the putting of gunk onto the walls. This process involves ladders and scraping. Lots of scraping.
Of course, when I want to sleep in the morning today, the scraping is directly outside my window, complete with view of ladder at close range.
In other news, the Universal Expert on Everything (aged 39-going-on-17) says they're doing it wrong.
As if that were news.
Wank, wank
Of course, when I want to sleep in the morning today, the scraping is directly outside my window, complete with view of ladder at close range.
In other news, the Universal Expert on Everything (aged 39-going-on-17) says they're doing it wrong.
As if that were news.
Wank, wank
possible parenting descrepancy solution
Jan. 14th, 2004 09:43 amCo-parent (male) reports that LF is often self-centered when he should be thinking of others.
Bad way to deal with this: "You don't really want that" and guilt-tripping by making him feel bad about what he wants.
Possible better way to deal with it:
"That's what you want for you. What do you want for Mommy?" Acknowledges his wants, and that he has a right to want for himself, but also reminds him to think about the other person.
Bad way to deal with this: "You don't really want that" and guilt-tripping by making him feel bad about what he wants.
Possible better way to deal with it:
"That's what you want for you. What do you want for Mommy?" Acknowledges his wants, and that he has a right to want for himself, but also reminds him to think about the other person.
The Girly Quiz
Jan. 14th, 2004 06:55 pm1. Out of all the shades of pink, which one is your favorite?
The deep pink that new wild roses come out as.
2. What length skirt do you like?
Ankle-length or a little higher.
3. What hair products do you use?
Shampoo, conditioner (often a split-ends specific conditioner), occasionally mousse, gel, and/or glitter.
4. What's the worst thing about guys?
Haven't yet found a keeper who wants to keep me.
5. What's the best thing about guys?
My best friend is one.
( Read more... )
The deep pink that new wild roses come out as.
2. What length skirt do you like?
Ankle-length or a little higher.
3. What hair products do you use?
Shampoo, conditioner (often a split-ends specific conditioner), occasionally mousse, gel, and/or glitter.
4. What's the worst thing about guys?
Haven't yet found a keeper who wants to keep me.
5. What's the best thing about guys?
My best friend is one.
( Read more... )
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tygerr)
Memorable conversational gambits
Jan. 14th, 2004 08:32 pm"Stop humping the cat!"
So her house is invaded, every winter, by a few mice -- fun, that. And she hasn't had any this winter. And she comes downstairs to find her dog chewing on one. ..."So, it was dead, right?" "Yes...?" "So... vole de mort."
"Also ... oof!"
"More likely to breed -- with me!"
So her house is invaded, every winter, by a few mice -- fun, that. And she hasn't had any this winter. And she comes downstairs to find her dog chewing on one. ..."So, it was dead, right?" "Yes...?" "So... vole de mort."
"Also ... oof!"
"More likely to breed -- with me!"
Books: reading, read.
Jan. 14th, 2004 11:32 pmRead most of the second chapter of So You Want to be a Wizard aloud to Little Fayoumis. Finished it myself in the bath.
Reading to him in the car on our way home is evidently a way to keep him from getting too whiny, too tired, too fighty.
Good.
Still finishing off Cyteen again.
Reading to him in the car on our way home is evidently a way to keep him from getting too whiny, too tired, too fighty.
Good.
Still finishing off Cyteen again.