Beltane: tradition!

Beltane has a tradition of assorted disaster in the household. 2001 was the Year of the Ants. 2002 had assorted dramas, including the ex (though nothing actually disastrous). There were car problems in 2003, the serious kind involving gasoline coming out of the tank in ways it was never intended to. 2004 was the Shrubbery's bloody "Loyalty Day", wherein I showed my loyalty by wanking and posting puntastic fanfic. 2005 involved the traumatic death of a stranger.

Most things about the holiday have been improving over the years, so I'm not scared about what assorted oddities today may hold, though I do have a bit of an internal duck-and-cover routine going.

Meanwhile, I am taking the opportunity to clean out bits of things. Cereal that's been sitting in the cupboard for over a year should be tossed directly, and I have done so. Who eats breakfast cereal? (Well, if I had milk on hand regularly, I might, but I don't, because I don't do the lactose thing.)

Happy Beltane, people. May it be blessed and all that good stuff.

Checklist for dealing with a Lunatic in a panicky/depressive/cranky state:

Congratulations! You are enjoying the company of one Lunatic. Your model should be blue in color. Some fluctuations in energy level, giggliness, personality, handwriting, and sanity are normal, and are no cause for alarm. Individual variation is part of the charm of the Lunatic. However, like most things, the Lunatic has several error modes. For maximum uptime for a Lunatic, consider these troubleshooting solutions if your Lunatic begins to function in an erratic manner or ceases to function:

• Water. Lunatics carry around a gallon sport-top bottle of water as a matter of course. If this is missing or empty, apply water to Lunatic. This bottle is refilled at least twice daily. If your Lunatic attempts to go somewhere with the bottle less than half-full, make sure the Lunatic fills the water bottle and takes the opportunity to drain.


• Blood sugar. Lunatics are the daughter of someone with issues that border on hypoglycemia, and Lunatic does need to make sure that she eats right things regularly. If Lunatic's right arm are bandaged at elbow, Lunatic has probably given plasma recently, and should be seated and refueled. Do not attempt to refuel the Lunatic with milk products, bananas, or walnuts, as malfunction may result, but if the Lunatic chooses these items to refuel with, it is her Own Damn Fault, and interference is not necessary.


• Temperature. Lunatics are nonfunctional at low or high temperatures. If Lunatics have been sitting without coverings in temperatures lower than 70°F or been sitting in temperatures higher than 75°F for more than an hour or two, malfunction results. Apply motion and heat if chilled; apply motion, fresh air, internal and external water, and a cooler environment if overheated. Temperatures are approximate and may be subject to change, but Lunatics are sub-arctic creatures and can tolerate low temperatures with covering far better than even moderately warm temperatures. Low temperature often results in moodiness, depression, sulking (or curl-up-under-blanket-and-go-to-sleep); high temperature often results in incoherence, sleeplessness, and panic.


• Shock. Lunatics have a disturbing ability to go into a state of shock with sufficient emotional provocation. Standard treatment for shock applies. Additionally, apply bondmate or big brother.


• Sleep. If Lunatics have been in an active state for more than 16 hours, giddiness and/or crankiness may occur. If Lunatics have been in an active state for 24 hours or more, they should be promptly made horizontal and calm. Note that sleep may not be possible if temperature is outside of operational ranges or water settings are low. Lunatics should have at least 7 to 9 hours of sleep in order to resume full operation. If Lunatics sleep before midnight, lo, they will be Up All Night.


• Bonds. Lunatics are unstable without the constant invisible presence of their bondmate. To reset bonds to baseline, make sure that Lunatic's silver star is applied and Lunatic has been recently grounded/centered. Bond may require /renew from time to time, and may not /renew automatically in absence of silver star prompt. Bond is security-enabled and will not connect properly if both ends are not secured; check all firewalls and ground/center before attempting a reconnect. Bond uses address filtering and will not admit additional users who are not whitelisted.


• ( Read more... )

New Hair, Blue Hair

I put dye on the hair last night. I was ready for a mess, because I dripped blue all over the nightshirt when I was putting it on, but it seemed to soak all up into the hair (oo, damaged tips) so all I had was a bit of goo, and no blue. I have yet to unbraid it and brush it out (sirens woke me up, and I have to finish up my sleep cycle) but little bits should be nicely darkened and may even glow blue in the sunlight. Yay for blue hair, even stealth!blue hair!

I also did a baking-soda-and-vinegar hairscrub last night. It feels disgustingly icky when it's just the baking soda on there, but the vinegar rinses it all right out. Hair is feeling shiny and smooth this morning, and that is a good thing.

It would be great if I could actually cut down on the number of random bottles that are lurking around the sides of the shower. If I can actually switch the hair care routine to need less in the way of commercial products, I can afford to start getting small bottles that don't take up that much room, really.

I miss the peach-scented conditioner I used to use. It was a scent filled with all sorts of memories.

The Myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's Vine

A point of snark for grammar bitches; a beta's resource -- http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/ -- things like "baited breath" and so forth.

Advice to Young Writers -- very sensible stuff. Via dduane.

Backbone providers and ISPs should maintain network neutrality. It's one thing for a site like LJ to prioritize paid users when there's a server crunch. It's entirely another thing for backbone providers and ISPs to be allowed to prioritize traffic from one site over another site -- say users trying to reach AOL got priority bandwidth going through time/warner-owned backbone bits over people trying to hit Google. If you're US-voting, make sure you tell your congresscreatures where certain parties can shove it.

"Danforth says that a same-sex marriage ban is a very silly idea.

Six° -- not the original, but a re-creation. At least kind of.

[Bush] tried to nip this part of the immigration debate in the bud by declaring flatly that the anthem should be sung in English and that anyone coming to live in this country should learn English. He stumbled on the word English but the point was taken.

Parody/Nintendoman, metaquotes.

It is the job of the civilian to support the military in return for the protection, and to keep an eye on the military and agree to be protected, and to help point out things that they'd like to be protected from. It is also the duty of the civilian to look at the military and say, "If protection means stomaching this particular atrocity, then maybe I don't want to be protected."

HP plot twist, free to a good home: a binary poison, the activating component of which is chocolate. Optional: it mimics the symptoms of dementor attack.