Nearly Instant (copycat bloomin') Onion Ring Dipping Sauce

Face it, a lot of recipes that start with "half a cup of mayonnaise and at least two teaspoons of garlic powder" can probably usefully replace the mayo and spices with a good whack of ranch dressing.

Benefit: fewer things to mix, flavors already melded
Drawback: you can't subtract things from the ranch, which could be a problem if you're working with a lot of allergies, and ranch is definitely dairy whereas mayo is, like, eggs and shit.

To that end, please behold my nearly instant onion ring sauce.

Good whack of ranch
About a tenth that much ketchup
A quarter or less the amount of ketchup in creamy horseradish sauce, according to taste -- err on the side of less, stir it up, and test it, before adding more than you really want.

Lacks the beauty and control of more involved recipes.
Is dead simple to put together when you've just hauled a tray of fried delicacies out of the oven.

Unbreak my hip, say you love me again...

Remember how my hip was acting up in December? Well, it's finally, as of this morning, after last night's hot bath and cyclobenzaprine, feeling better today. "Better" at the point when I woke up was also my hip muscles in SCREAMING PAIN but also the sort of pain that follows an extended period of things being Wrong. And the hip didn't feel Wrong anymore.

That was what I went to see the doctor for on Tuesday, the hip. (I was also supposed to have my next jar of Ritalin on Monday, but it didn't appear.) My very nice NP asked me to extend the leg forward while standing. Ahahahah. Then she asked me to make the figure 4 while lying down, by crossing my lame leg over the other one and bending at the knee sufficient to bring my heel up to my knee. Hahahah. My leg twitched, but I couldn't get it far up enough to cross over my other leg. (Left leg did just fine.) She sent me off with a four-page booklet on stretches and strengthening exercises, a verbal recommendation for physical therapy (I made distress-noises about the co-pays so she didn't follow it up with too much) and an x-ray referral.

I got Alex from an appointment after that, and took a breather at home.

Might as well get the x-ray done, right? So I hied me off to the more convenient location, found myself a suitably close parking space. Went to open the door.

Message to house chat: "I am at [location] for my x-ray but the driver's side door isn't letting me out. I petition for some windfall to fix this fucker
Climbing over seems like a non starter both with hip and steering wheel"

I set a timer to try and let the actuator cool off. Belovedest confirmed that they could use some of the money from the unexpected check from an insurance company to aid my car. I called the auto shop.

They could try to squeeze me in the next day, if the guy had any spare time. As I was describing the problem and the troubleshooting steps I'd taken, the guy on the phone gradually became aware that I was, in fact, locked inside my car. Instead of outside. He recommended that I come down immediately so they could extract me from the car by whatever means necessary. I advised Belovedest to come retrieve me from there.

I pulled in next to Belovedest's distinctive car and auto guys boiled out the door. Their electrical guy handed me out (the door had unlocked, perfectly and automatically, when I came to a stop and turned the thing off). Then I drove Belovedest home so they could start their meeting on time.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I called up the pharmacy and asked after the refill date of my fuckin' Ritalin. This had slipped from the 8th or whatever, to the 13th, and over the phone I was surprised and dismayed to hear -- the 20th. I demanded a pharmacist of the automated system.

The pharmacist said that first it had arrived earlier than the valid fill date (true, and slightly intentionally) and then they'd only had 30 of the indicated 60 pills. Since this is what it is, she said that they could fill me with 30, but I'd lose the other 30. Or I could wait until the 13th, but they might not get their whole shipment; they hadn't gotten any with the last shipment. Sensing my dismay, she added, "Or you could have your provider fax it over to a different pharmacy. One that has it." She named two places.

"Hold on, I'm finding it surprisingly difficult to hold more than one piece of information in my head at once," I said.
"I wonder why," she said in a dry tone that immediately cemented her as my favorite.

I left a message for the person covering for Dr. V.

My plan for when I got the car back included getting my hip x-rays.

Today, I got a message that they'd faxed it over, and I should check with the pharmacy. Then I got the message from Belovedest, that the car was done and I should make ready to go pick it up. A hasty morning routine ensued.

Hip screaming and all, I limped to the car and operated Belovedest's Pokemon Go as we headed for the auto shop. After I got my key back, I headed to the grocery store with the pharmacy. It's pretty big inside, with nicely wide aisles, none of the terrible end caps that make our local version hell to navigate on wheels.

The pharmacist confirmed that all was in order, and I had but to wait 15-20 minutes and I'd be ready. I wandered the store. Even before my watch timer went off, I got the text saying I was ready. I was glad of the wheels as I waited in line; the person in front of me had an extensive consult. But finally I was free, my prescription in hand.

I contemplated the x-ray. However, the referral is good for a year, and my hip just went back to normal. My cunning plan, therefore, is to attempt to wait for my hip to do that yet again and hie me straight off to imaging to try and get whatever TF is going on there on actual record. So I didn't head there after all.

I detoured through See's with my gift card on the way home. Balancing the great good fortune of last time, this time I did not get a sample. And that's okay.