cadhla does Coyote's Ten Commandments, based off the Biblical ones. (Now with more metaquotes!)

And of course that spawned...
Raven's Commandments (as transcribed by me):

I. Thou shalt not miss an opportunity to hang with your friends. Unless, you know, you're doing something else. But they can probably come along too if they want to.

II. That was actually pretty funny. From some perspective. Even if it wasn't yours. I mean, look at me. I'm laughing, aren't I?

III. If you don't think it can be done, that just means you're thinking about it wrong.

IV. There's very little that you can do that can't be done better, faster, and with less effort on your part if you can get someone else to do it for you.

V. Except for playing. That's personal.

VI. Payback's a bitch. But it's also funny as fuck. I mean, I'm laughing, aren't I?

VII. Just because it's leftover doesn't mean it's bad. ... If you don't want it, shove over. Mine.

VIII. If you don't need it now, you'll probably need it later.

IX. Ooo, shiny!

X. What, we needed more of these? I'll get around to it later. If something comes up, put it here.