Divide and Conquer

It looks like the problem that I was contemplating for the past several weeks is not going to be an issue.

You see, Adam has been getting far more lovey-dovey with me than I am comfortable with. This is partially because Adam has some of the same personality-tags that BJ had, and partially because Adam falling head-over-heels for me would not be a Good Thing.

I don't know where the thought came from, but it came from somewhere, and I thank Whoever sent it to me.

I was engaged twice, but more than that: by the laws of the gods if not the laws of men, I was married.

Wouldn't think so, would you? I never had the paperwork to prove it, but BJ and I stood before the gods and spoke words of binding: ourselves to each other in marriage. No witnesses, just the gods and us. That was all that was needed.

It lasted less than a year.

Still.

Adam's not entirely sure what to make of this new enlightenment on my marital status.

This is cute.

http://www.toiletduk.net/multimedia/flash/allyoursmurf.swf

Dragged, kicking and screaming

Adam has joined the list of the Major Loves of My Life. How do I know this? Simple.

Today, as I was preparing to go retrieve the last of my laundry from the dryer, Adam offered to come with me. Since I was just recovering from the shock of having to duck and cover as a whole circle of armed policemen (not a woman in the bunch) surrounded and arrested a psycho armed with a knife in my own apartment complex, I accepted his kind offer.

The shirt he grabbed to put on over his mostly-naked body turned out to not be a shirt, but instead the short, tight, lace-up-front crushed velvet stretch dress that teenagewitch is planning to use in her seduction of Neighbor. Even once he realized what it was, he put it on anyway, and had me lace up the front.

The dress fit him dreamily: he's tall and skinny, even though he does have broad shoulders, and with a pair of rolled-up socks for padding, he was able to pass off as a very tall, thin, and butch woman.

He decided to take a look at himself in the mirror, and I pounced with lipstick. Fabulous.

I was wondering how to get him to hold still while I hooked up my webcam and took a few snapshots of him, but as I was busily plotting, he rummaged for his own digital camera. I took a few pictures of him. We added a necklace to the ensemble, and he eventually came with me to retrieve the laundry. He was not accustomed to taking the tiny steps that go with such a dress -- he's six feet tall, and used to taking great huge MANLY strides. High heels would have helped, but we had none in his size.

On the way back from getting the laundry, I noticed one of our neighbors peering out from between the blinds. Let them peer!

After returning safely home, I hooked up my webcam and we got a few more good shots. It turns out that Adam's drag name is Crista Eve *$@%#*[last name obscured for privacy reasons]. He tried on my "disco ball dress", a bizarre silver-sequined confection that's sized for me, and thus hung like a very large sack on him. The tightness of the stretch velvet had held up his little falsies, but they dropped right off of him in the disco ball dress.

I cackled gleefully and retrieved a bra of mine. Adam/Crista learned of the true evil that is underwires, and successfully wore the dress. There were pictures.

Just about that time, one of Adam's school friends came online. I shared, of course, a few pictures and the gossip of the moment. "He's never going to let me hear the last of this," Crista moaned.

I leaned over to smooch him, and found out firsthand how it is to get someone's lipstick smeared all over your mouth.

If Pestilence should hear of this, Adam will really never hear the end.

Hmm.

I bet Darkside could teach me a few tricks about... ohhh yes. That would do it. That would so do it. Heh.


...But the reason I know Adam is now on the list of my Great Loves? He cross-dressed. At some point in their careers or other, all my Great Loves since 1995 have cross-dressed, with the current exception of Darkside.

(Votania and I share a very clear, very endearing, mental picture of Darkside in a cheerleader's outfit, the skirt crooked and the top hanging baggily on his skinny male frame, holding the pom-poms awkwardly, with a look on his face that says clearer than words, What the fuck am I doing wearing this anyway? When I sent her the image, we both cracked up laughing. I shall have to paint that one someday.)

There's a *man* in my *bed*!

Adam's snoring.

He really is a sweet guy.

How did I manage to make the six month list?

that is to say...

I'm flattered, I truly am, by Adam's listing me on the six month list.

But that would be a mistake of beyond epic proportions. I'm with Votania when she says that you've got to live with them for five years before you know them well enough to see if you can marry them or not.

BJ and I were going to prove them all wrong by being as in love on our 60th wedding anniversary as we were the first day we fell for each other. Ha! His name is perhaps the third worst you can bring up in this house: first worst being Asshole, second worst being that son of a monkey's uncle who's Nephew's sperm donor.

[No, you don't know Asshole. He's not a character who gets mentioned here much. He treated the woman I'm most likely spending the next fifteen years of my life with very badly, and he deserves every karmic wallop that's coming his way.]

To marry someone for the purpose of not letting them die a virgin... no. Even if they had six months to live.

I would gladly offer up myself to take care of the virginity problem, but no marriage. I would marry Votania for administrative purposes, a legal marriage, to formalize from a governmental point of view the way that she and I are most likely going to wind up taking care of Nephew, but I will not enter into that spiritual contract again without looking very clearly at the other party and myself.

If the opportunity ever came up, I think I might be able to marry Darkside. We'd have to live together first to see if it would work. Not as lovers, necessarily, but as roommates. Could he stand me? Could I stand him? Would we understand each other half so well at three AM with the A/C raining near-boiling water? Would he still be able to toss off a few dry comments and have me laugh my ass off? Would he still have the desire to coax a smile onto my face when I look gloomy? Would I still love his wacked and delicious sense of humor?

...those midnight thoughts, made manifest in the morning as writing.

ex-nun vampire (malkavian)

That's my VtM character Azure Lunatic, the original instance of this name.

She was a nun, very young, and then she got embraced. By a Malkavian. Much mayhem followed; she does not remember any of it, but there is one nunnery that still festoons the place with braids of garlic in memory of their formerly-dear Lunatic.

The Lunatic is most often seen wearing white, with blue hair, an insane grin of truly appalling enthusiasm, and a wedding band (left over from her days as a nun, though she doesn't realize this, she's just used to wearing it). Crosses in general send a mild shiver through her, though she can deal with it (when she's acting "normal") but crucifixes and rosaries make her do unpredictable things. In some of her more lucid moments, this may take the form of having a long and intricate debate with God, topic of debate to range according to what catches her eye first. Other times, she may say the rosary until whacked over the head with a board or offered suitable other distraction.

The Lunatic has a fascination, an affinity for, wood. She will pet anything that is made of wood, or knock on it and soberly announce "Wood." This does not gain her friends when she judges a person's head to be made of wood. This does render some hunters unmasked to her, as she will be drawn to their stakes.

Her stats have been lost, as it was BJ who possessed the character sheet.

Energy Clash

It disturbs me, sometimes, at night, when I reach for Darkside and he's not there.

I can feel Adam's energy just fine next to me, burning on a lightsaber frequency, barely under control under a control tighter than I could dream.

Adam's energy patterns, bold and bright, disrupt Darkside's quieter, more gentle, patterns. It's hard to reach for a delicate flower when you've been surrounded by cascades of lightning.

Shields up, Captain.

I feel Darkside's hand in mine, as usual (as always) now that the bright and furious energy has been barred away from me.

Freaking out

I seem to have been doing a lot of that lately, household-wise.

It's not anybody's fault, really. When someone, or someones, new move into somewhere, or damn near move in, there's a certain amount of household chaos and disruption that happens while things are settling down.

The latest:

I treat my glasses like dirt and my CD's like the finest crystal. I see no problem breathing on my glasses and scrubbing them on my shirt (cotton, of course, and semi-soft), but do the same to a CD? Never!

Well, of course, my glasses are far harder plastic than a CD is, and my eyes are biological analog systems that can make sense of the world around dirt, tearspecks, and scratches, and a CD player is a digital system that requires the medium to be unscratched and intact in order to work properly and not skip.

So I yelled, and that was the wrong thing to do. Yelped, more like it, and that caused upset and chaos and destruction.

The usual

Still bitchy. The week's due on the 6th or so.

Cleaning, severely, today.