Day

Wound up hitting Wally's for stuff. Came back with a food dehydrator, a new computer chair, some pajamas for LF, some shorts for same, a frying pan, and other random stuff for the Temple. Oh, and some lamps.

Came home and fixed something in the way of dinner: some "Whatever the hell that is", which consists of beef and mushroom marinated in wine with a sprinkling of sage, fried up with some garlic salt and corn, and then alfredo sauce, over pasta.

Yum.

After that, had some good sex in the shower, and proceeded to do silly things with the computer after talking with Dawn.

Much discussion of Darkside as a pimp ensued.

Now, talking with dawnalone over IM. Fun and interesting silliness.

Writing

What a profoundly unhappy young woman. Her base mood seems to be 'wistful' at the moment; ever since her beloved disappeared, she's known that something is very wrong with how her life should be, and nothing can make it right.

After she left DeVry, she stopped dying her hair black; she bleached it to something approaching its normal color, then cropped it short and is letting it grow out normally.

She's returning to herself, but it won't be until her hair is as long as it used to be that she'll get her life back...

Morning: things that suck.

Woke up to votania asking if I could get the LF so she could get some more sleep. Fair enough. I collected him, and experienced the fun that is Little Fayoumis trying to say hi to one of his school friends walking home.

Trouble is, said friend walks home with his mom. And his mom has well and truly squashed any attempts by LF's buddy to chat/play with LF outside of school.

If two kids are walking home with their moms at the same time, and the kids are friends in school, I expect the kids to be chattering away a mile a minute until one kid has to go one way and the other kid has to go the other way. But when LF's friend tries to wave back, his mother hurries him on...

It happens when votania walks him back from school... it happens when I walk him back from school. I don't know why.

But it sucks.

Uncertainties

Am schooling Little Fayoumis on how to leave uncertainty in things. Take, for example, calling ralmathon to see if he can come over and play.

I call, and leave a message telling ralmathon that Little Fayoumis would like him to come over and play.

An hour later, ralmathon has not called back or shown up.

"He doesn't want to come over," Little Fayoumis says sadly.


I point out that maybe he doesn't want to come over, or maybe he wants to come over but he's too busy to come over, or maybe he was asleep and didn't answer the phone and hasn't checked his messages and didn't know we would like him to come over, or maybe he isn't even home.

Or maybe even something else.


I think he's learning. Bit by bit. There are some answers that are not simple. We won't know until we find out, what the answer was.


Today, we covered use of the Playstation. If he asks, or says he wants to use it, but Mommy doesn't say anything, that doesn't mean she meant yes. Until she says yes or no, the answer is "Maybe later". For assuming a yes, he had to wait one hour before he got to play on it.

Those wacky recruiters

The army called, because I go to DeVry, and they're paying off student loans if you join the army. Tempting. But not so tempting that I didn't tell the guy that I didn't hold HIM liable for the policies of his Commander in Chief, but HELL NO.

"So, you're not interested, then."

"Maybe when someone ELSE gets elected President."


Heh. Great way to wake up from a nap...

Freewill for the whack

( Hey VIRGO, this means you too... confirmation on Cali? )

Plans (life...)

Home.

One of these days, we may wind up moving home.

I'd feel safest holed up at Uncle Skippy's house.

I want to go home.

I want to take home with me. Alaska is too far for casual bus trips to visit on the weekend.

Interesting...

added dtwof to my interests list.

Dykes to Watch Out For so rules.

Note: may want to make some form of bi-happy icon.

Things I Never Want To Repeat (part 1)

Having the bottoms of my feet fall off. Nope, not leprosy: frostbite.

Running on the packed-snow road in bare feet is a Really Bad Idea. I couldn't even use alcohol as an excuse. I was trying to get DC's pager back to her, since she'd been tripping out all night when she kept dropping it places...

...bad idea. Much pain ensued. Shawn refused to let me hold onto his arm, because it would be too much like being a couple; Evil Mick let me hold onto him; endorphins happily did some of their thing and made it into Just Plain Hurting from the former Excruciating Agony.

Wound up having the bottoms of my feet blister and fall off. My feet are still a little sensitive to extreme heat or cold...

(no subject)

Am I allowed to feel like a moron because I can't change a stupid light bulb?

How many Lunatics *does* it take to change a light bulb?

One to swing around the big sword to tire out the arms.
One to attempt to change the lightbulb and drop it because of hand/arm shakiness.
One to pout in the bitterness of the conspiracy of the universe's lightbulbs against us.
One to be happy and sparkly and thank marxdarx prettily when he succeeds in changing it.

(There you go, gremliness....)

Respect

Am I odd because I love and respect my parents?

When I was a teenager, I hated and feared my father for his bad qualities, because they were so strong in myself. I saw them in myself, and I saw my potential to be far worse than I was; far worse than he was. It terrified me, because I saw how he lost control of himself in his anger, and I knew that if I lost control of myself to the extent that he did, I could be terrible.

I hated my mother for being a hapless, helpless, ineffectual force for peace in the house when my father was angry.

And the rest of the time, when no one was angry, no one was fighting, I loved Mama and FatherSir. FatherSir was strong and smart and could do anything in the world. Mama was still young and happy and could make pretty pots and quilts and clothes, and made sure everyone was taken care of.

Out of everything my parents did, there are three things I might change:

1. Anger


2. Sex


3. Religion

My father had a terrible temper, and had never learned how to control it effectively, or communicate his emotions so that he wouldn't have to let it blow over. Narcissa and I were terrified of when that would happen. That will never happen to my children. He stopped doing that. I know it can be stopped. I no longer have horrible uncontrollable fits of rage. The most that comes out these days is a harsh word or two and a glare. I go into my room and vent to LJ. Then I know what's bothering me, and I can talk rationally about it.

Sex was one of those things that was Not Talked About in the household, mostly because of Mama's refined sensibilities. She would have probably discussed it if I'd asked, but I was never really wanting to. All the books on the subject, though, were there for me to poke at, should I ever have wished to...

Religion was another thing that was Not Talked About. I have no specific peeve with this, but I'll handle it differently.