(in reaction to a thing making the rounds about "seriously, you call this one girl ' Lady Gaga'; why is it so hard to respect Chelsea Manning's declared new name?")
Name choice is always going to be very personal and it's important enough that it needs to be respected. Human nature says that there always will be people who declare their name is something obnoxious, offensive, or obscene just to fuck with the people playing by the rules, but it is so important to the people who are not fucking with the public that it needs to remain open. This is the sort of thing where people need to allow first, and only disallow after establishing bad faith.
The problem with that is that some fuckwads assume that anyone identifying as a gender they weren't assigned at birth is inherently acting in bad faith. Those people are fuckwads and also incorrect.
There are other, less fuckwaddy but still Wrong On And Off The Internet folks who point out that there can be a lot of trying on names but not having them stick during any transitional period that involves names, AND THEREFORE (and this is why they are wrong) nobody should bother to learn and use the new name until it is certain to be permanent.
Name churn is an inconvenience and possibly a cognitive challenge for surrounding people, but the ill effects of being called the wrong name are bad enough to justify insisting. Generally people are socialized against certain forms of inconvenience to others, so there is already gatekeeping against frivolous requests. Enough so that sometimes people put up with being called a name that does not suit until they go somewhere else, to spare others confusion at their own expense.
Frivolous namechanging is its own punishment. I asked to be called Tasha in one high school class because I thought it would be fun/cute. It was distinctly unpleasant to be called the wrong name for that hour of the day that semester. I was hesitant once I found a name I thought fit, because what if I got it wrong? What if it didn't fit and I had to change again or change back?
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