Public release of a fic from last year: BBC Sherlock, "The Unsavory Urologist"

Last year I wrote a fic for Steph, working title "Beeslash". It made me giggle evilly for more than 30 seconds.

The Unsavory Urologist (1261 words) by azurelunatic
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Sherlock (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/Bees
Characters: Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, Greg Lestrade, OMC murder victim, Bees - Character
Additional Tags: unwise life choices, Human Sherlock, Asexual Sherlock, Humor, entirely too many penis euphemisms, Body Horror, Drug Use, cocaine is a hell of a drug, Nudity, Insects, Bees, Animal Harm, For Science!, human Watson, even Watson has limits, intellectual disability slurs, mental health slurs, justified kink-shaming, Watson has nothing against asexuality, most asexuals don't wind up in A&E for sex-adjacent stunts, Sherlock is the Outliers Georg of foolish ace sex-adjacent stunts, blackmailable pictures, metaphorical bee dick, human dicks and real bees, I know too much about actual bee dick, did you know that bees have peens, Brits written by an American, not actually britpicked, veteran character written by civilian from another country, texual memes and other references, hail Sarah who really is a secret genius but is otherwise uninvolved with this fic, my beta thought this fic was a good idea, my beta is an internationally recognized expert on ass-babies, no omegaverse characters were harmed in the making of this fic, no actual bees were harmed either, no affiliation with the actual Doc Johnson, sober Sherlock and high Sherlock agree in a lot of things, but have different levels of impulse control
Summary:

A "doctor" with controversial, bee-related, health claims has been found dead. Sherlock tries science. Watson is not here for this.

(Please see tags.)

*zort* "Ooops..."

So! My phone, my very precious and dear 32gig Pixel XL (got on sale at deep discount, update life expired a while ago) has been having Battery Problems, absolutely caused by my habit of riding the thing hard. Belovedest's phone, of the same vintage, is chugging along just fine.

My phone has recently taken to dropping battery power very quickly, and outright turning off when doing fun things like taking pictures without a power cord, or (recently) accepting verbal instructions in Maps *with* a power cord.

I'd been of a mind to Do Something About This soonish, and this morning when I was trying to take some pictures of the red room for my email to Mama, the phone died twice in the taking. (I had looked at replacement phones a while ago, but came to no good conclusion. Also, we were thinking of putting my phone under Belovedest's plan.)

I stomped over to my main machine and made an appointment at the local repairs + misc shop. There was just enough time that I zipped off to refuel my car and grab a bit of breakfast before Playing Games with some of the usual suspects (Belovedest's former co-worker and her husband).

The shop had estimated an hour and a half, but there was no call by 2. After game was over, I called the shop.

Tuuuuuurns out, in the process of melting the glue to lift the screen to get at the battery, the repair tech had fried the screen. He was very sorry. (There was a looooong wait on hold to find this information out.) I was understanding. Secure in the fact that I wasn't going to turn into a Karen Explosion, he went a little deeper into the details. They were going to overnight a new screen, because of course they don't keep screens for a phone that old around, and the manager who had to authorize the overnight would be in first thing in the morning! On Monday!

So between everything, it might be Wednesday before I get my phone back.

I do have some older iThings. This isn't a complete lack of any appropriate mobile electronics. I just don't have my preferred mobile electronic, and I don't have a cellphone.

I conferred with Belovedest. I called my phone company (dubbed the Yellow Bastards by norabombay on the strength of their branding) for the information I'd need to unlock the number to give to the Magenta Mob (other company).

Between the one thing and the other, Belovedest and I rolled into the store on the corner shopping complex about 20 minutes before closing time.

They, of course, had the phone I wanted on display (the XL, please) but not in stock.

And they couldn't order it. But Belovedest could do that from the website! At home!

At least I got my number swapped over, but that still left me without a working phone until the new one arrived. Belovedest offered to let me borrow theirs. Alex offered to let me borrow theirs.

I accepted Alex's offer: I would need it briefly! Tuesday! Enby's first mammogram! I am not actually going to that appointment without a reliable way of getting in touch with Belovedest in case things go Very Wrong, either there or en route to/from.

Belovedest tried to get the thing via the website, but the instructions said to call the mothership. They did. It was *le gasp* out of stock! But they could call when stock came in.

Sooooo when I get my OG XL back from the repair shop I'm going to stuff the new chip in and see how long it takes to get me a new phone that isn't bumping the edge of its storage limits. And maybe the new battery will solve the weird app freezing thing.