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Leap of Faith
Aug. 6th, 2002 07:38 amWell, the one sure thing is, I am a deist of some description or another. Attachment to the names has never been my big thing. I know Raven, but otherwise, deity name is rather hard for my mind to come by.
Why this crisis of faith? It's an interesting thing when one of the constants in your life proves not to be quite so constant anymore. There's no rule saying that Christians can't learn magic, after all...
It was the witch-cackle that did it. He laughed, then said that oh, but that was my laugh, not his. There was discussion.
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votania was right. But he's not lost to magic forever; he's not lost to magic at all; and it wasn't a change.
He let me hold his hand for a while: physical contact, the easiest way for me to sort myself out. Then he let me rest my hand on his arm while he wrote. There has been no change, only a change in my perceptions.
There was a moment when he realized how our hands were touching (two of his fingers inside my hand) and said, "Insert bad sexual joke here." I grinned.
Why should it have bothered me so much at first? There's nothing wrong with the religion in and of itself. There are some people who are idiots who get far too carried away about it. My beloved best friend is in no way an idiot, and he gets along with other religions just fine.
I had to ask: was his religion and my religion an issue in why he and I would not make a good couple? His answer was actually rather vague, but had the general idea that no, it was not an issue.
What disturbed me, or disturbed me that it did not disturb me, was the way I was thinking about religion. I would never change religion-of-choice-and-name for Adam. If it were an issue, and something standing between Darkside and me, I could call myself anything. Putting a specific name to Deity has never been a hangup of mine; I've never had a name other than Raven to address It/Them/Him/Her by. Jesus was a very powerful instance of the Christ data type; it is expected of all, eventually, to recognize that they are the Other, and are thus responsible for all the karma of the world. Wicca is merely the closest convenient religious structure to where I am. I celebrate the holidays, chiefly the Summer and Winter solstice, because those were the holidays that I was raised with. (Interesting, actually, that a family with two diverse-backgrounded Christian parents would raise a family celebrating pagan holidays...) I celebrate Passover. I celebrate Samhein. I celebrate Lammas, Beltane, Yule, Litha. (My family marked the equinoxes too... and I still have trouble remembering the Wiccan holidays.)
I've never been hung up on what to call the divine spirit I know to be there, to be an integral part of myself, all others, and all the universe that is. Diane Duane's Spock's World mentions a Vulcan awareness of the divine; that's the closest I can come to stating an ultimate knowledge of faith. All else is human interpretation, and subject to individual perception.
My faith is unchanging, no matter the name put to it. If I had been raised Christian, I'd have remained Christian, with happy cross-cultural exchanges with my Wiccan (et cetera) friends. I wasn't raised much of anything, so I'm remaining not much of anything, calling myself Wiccan, because I believe in the principle that I should harm none, or as little as possible (I was raised on Spock's World, and have Surak's understanding of the practicalities), and I have no objection to the rites, and it's a simple, prepackaged way of explaining myself to others, should they wish to know my faith.
If becoming Christian were a condition that I would have to meet before Darkside would date me or marry me, I would sit down with the book and him, and discuss it deeply -- and, more likely than not, I would be Christian. If I could be monandrous for Darkside (and I would, if he wanted me to, and asked me to), then I could easily change the label I put to my faith. My faith itself has been unswerving from the time it was realized; the name is nothing.
Why this crisis of faith? It's an interesting thing when one of the constants in your life proves not to be quite so constant anymore. There's no rule saying that Christians can't learn magic, after all...
It was the witch-cackle that did it. He laughed, then said that oh, but that was my laugh, not his. There was discussion.
votania was right. But he's not lost to magic forever; he's not lost to magic at all; and it wasn't a change.He let me hold his hand for a while: physical contact, the easiest way for me to sort myself out. Then he let me rest my hand on his arm while he wrote. There has been no change, only a change in my perceptions.
There was a moment when he realized how our hands were touching (two of his fingers inside my hand) and said, "Insert bad sexual joke here." I grinned.
Why should it have bothered me so much at first? There's nothing wrong with the religion in and of itself. There are some people who are idiots who get far too carried away about it. My beloved best friend is in no way an idiot, and he gets along with other religions just fine.
I had to ask: was his religion and my religion an issue in why he and I would not make a good couple? His answer was actually rather vague, but had the general idea that no, it was not an issue.
What disturbed me, or disturbed me that it did not disturb me, was the way I was thinking about religion. I would never change religion-of-choice-and-name for Adam. If it were an issue, and something standing between Darkside and me, I could call myself anything. Putting a specific name to Deity has never been a hangup of mine; I've never had a name other than Raven to address It/Them/Him/Her by. Jesus was a very powerful instance of the Christ data type; it is expected of all, eventually, to recognize that they are the Other, and are thus responsible for all the karma of the world. Wicca is merely the closest convenient religious structure to where I am. I celebrate the holidays, chiefly the Summer and Winter solstice, because those were the holidays that I was raised with. (Interesting, actually, that a family with two diverse-backgrounded Christian parents would raise a family celebrating pagan holidays...) I celebrate Passover. I celebrate Samhein. I celebrate Lammas, Beltane, Yule, Litha. (My family marked the equinoxes too... and I still have trouble remembering the Wiccan holidays.)
I've never been hung up on what to call the divine spirit I know to be there, to be an integral part of myself, all others, and all the universe that is. Diane Duane's Spock's World mentions a Vulcan awareness of the divine; that's the closest I can come to stating an ultimate knowledge of faith. All else is human interpretation, and subject to individual perception.
My faith is unchanging, no matter the name put to it. If I had been raised Christian, I'd have remained Christian, with happy cross-cultural exchanges with my Wiccan (et cetera) friends. I wasn't raised much of anything, so I'm remaining not much of anything, calling myself Wiccan, because I believe in the principle that I should harm none, or as little as possible (I was raised on Spock's World, and have Surak's understanding of the practicalities), and I have no objection to the rites, and it's a simple, prepackaged way of explaining myself to others, should they wish to know my faith.
If becoming Christian were a condition that I would have to meet before Darkside would date me or marry me, I would sit down with the book and him, and discuss it deeply -- and, more likely than not, I would be Christian. If I could be monandrous for Darkside (and I would, if he wanted me to, and asked me to), then I could easily change the label I put to my faith. My faith itself has been unswerving from the time it was realized; the name is nothing.
